don't be slow

God has made it pretty clear that the next step in my journey with Him is being a better witness to my friends. sometimes, i'm so caught up in trying to not make an awkward moment that i forget how badly they need to hear about Jesus and how He can turn their world right side up. 

i know God wanted me to hear the sermon on Sunday because, even though i overslept, He woke me up with a text message, giving me just enough time to scurry around getting ready and only getting to church about 7 minutes late. He talked about Matthew 9:35-38.

Matthew 9:37-"The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few."

"The harvest is plentiful" : there are TONS of people ready to hear the gospel and give their lives to Christ. not only do they need to, but they are actually ready to.

"but the workers are few." : here's where we come in. there are 3 things this could mean

1) Christians are working really hard, but there just aren't enough of us and too many of them.

2) all Christians are laboring, but at a really slow pace. (you know you are in this category if it takes a year for someone to even ask you about church)

3) few Christians are actually "joining the labor of harvesting souls"

which one are you?

if we are being completely honest here, i'd have to say that i'm in category #2, and that's not okay with me. 

i realized today how quickly people come and go out of my life. i don't have that much time with each person. friday night, i was told that the girl across from me moved out. just like that. i knew some people were moving around, but we were all gonna stay on this hall, but this girl moved all the way to the other side of campus. i may never see her again unless our paths happen to cross randomly, and what lasting effect did i leave on her life? none. that's not okay. 

i wish i could end on a happier note, but that's all i've got for now. let's go harvest some souls..they're ready!

I AM ME

i realized something tonight: i try to hide behind someone else so much until i don't know who i am without them. if i am not with certain people, i wonder what i am even like sometimes.

i am lauren adams, the servant of the Most High God and that won't change no matter who i'm with. i'm scared of letting others see the real me, because i'm scared they won't like it. but that shouldn't even matter, because i am not on this earth to please others. i am on a mission, a mission more powerful than i can even grasp right now so i have to take it one day at a time. one step at a time. one single moment at a time.

i am starting to realize something else: i cannot see who i really am when i don't see who i am in God. He is who i am. He is the all-time best part of my life and when i try to see who i am apart from Him, i'm not seeing the real me.

so this is me:
my name is lauren adams.
i may not be what i seem on the outside all the time.
i laugh when i'd rather be crying.
i'm crazy and energetic, but i easily shy away.
most importantly, i am the daughter of the King.
my Best Friend is My Savior.
i am a treasure in God's eyes.
i am loved beyond compare by my Father.
i am a beloved bride to my Bridegroom.
i am a redeemed daughter.
I AM GOD'S CHILD/FRIEND/LOVER/TREASURE. 
THIS IS ME.

I dare you to pray this

i'm a TREASURE

last night, Marian Jordan came to speak at Girls' Night Out at Winthrop. i went just to be with friends, thinking that God was gonna just talk to the girls in relationships. i've never been in a relationship, but i've been taught a whole lot about them and i felt like i didn't need to go but i figured i would because everyone else was going and i had nothing better to be doing.

so i get there and she starts talking. she talks about basically everything that every girl struggles with at some point in life. when she was describing herself as an ackward middle schooler with frizzy hair and taller than everyone else in the school, i felt like she was describing me. i still have days where i doubt myself and i put myself down all the time. my self-confidence level is usually in the negatives, but it shouldn't be that way because i am a TREASURE to God. my Father has come to save me and He honestly doesn't care that i've spent so much time running away from Him and trying to do things on my own, He just wants a relationship with me. He DESIRES ME AT WHATEVER COST NECESSARY. it just so happens that that cost had to be His Son. He watched His Son be beaten viciously and mercilessly and He let it happen because He wants me.

i've never seen the move 'Taken' but i want to after Marian used it as an example. after warning 'spoiler alert', she explained that the movie is about this girl who is kidnapped and her father won't stop until he finds her. he kills men to get to her and risks his own life many times. when he finally finds her on a boat, she can hear the guard outside the door say, "its the girl's father and he wants her back." when she sees him, she says, "you came for me?" like she couldn't believe it or didn't deserve it. the whole time she was describing this movie, i was picturing my relationship with God and it almost brought me to tears. i don't deserve Him or His love, but He wouldn't stop until He rescued me. i was taken by my own sinful desires, trapped with no way out on my own. i asked Him last night "You came for me?" i could hardly believe it. i don't deserve it. the cost was too big, but He payed anyway.

one of my favorite words is 'redemption.' because someone explained it to me this way once:
redemption: "released on receipt of a ransom"
so what this means is this: picture a girl being kidnapped and the kidnappers call her father and tell him that he has to pay a million dollars to get her back. he does. and he gets her back. the price was huge, but he was willing to pay ANYTHING to get his daughter back.

so when i have those days when i tell myself i'm not worth anything or i'm not pretty or not good enough for anyone, i can remember this: i am a TREASURE in the sight of my Father and not even a million sins can change that.

Jesus: the ultimate example of a friend

so i'm writing a paper on friendship for Writing 101 and i was looking on the library website today. in the keyword search box, i typed in "example of a friend" and the first 2 books on the list (in order of relevance) were about Jesus. this is no accident.

He catches me

"'Lord, if it's You,' Peter replied, 'tell me to come to You on the water.'
'Come,' He said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, 'Lord, save me!'
IMMEDIATELY Jesus reached out His hand and caught him. 'You of little faith,' He said, 'why did you doubt?'"
~Matthew 14:28-31

as i read these verses, i saw the picture of my life flash before my eyes. i doubt Him but He tells me to "come", to come even through the wind and the rain. i keep my eyes on Him for a little while, but the storms distract me. i try to do things on my own and think i have to save myself but i quickly start sinking. i finally cry out to Jesus to save me, knowing i don't deserve it, and He doesn't hesitate a minute. He was there waiting all along, letting me try it on my own because i pushed Him away and said "i've got this." but He knew i would keep sinking and eventually cry out in distress because i would realize i'm not strong enough, so He waited patiently until i called on Him so He could reach out His hand and catch me.