Lessons from an Old White Shelf

     If you have ever read this blog before, you know that I am a visual learner. I love looking at ordinary, everyday objects or activities and letting them teach me about life. For example, I have had this old, white shelf in my room ever since I can remember. Why white? Well, it matches everything. In the same way, before we are changed by Christ, we look just like everyone else, like the world. Now, maybe this is stretching this analogy a little bit, but humor me for a minute....

     I decided to take this shelf from my room and paint it, I didn't want it to look like everything else anymore. I wanted to make it BEAUTIFUL. Step one...I had to sand it because paint sticks better on a rough surface. Our Creator doesn't just rush into painting, He has to sand us first. This is where the hard times and the hurts play a part. Although it's hard to believe sometimes, God knows what He's doing when He lets us hurt. This gets us ready for the beauty awaiting us later on.

     Step two... painting. As I was painting, I was slowly making sure each stroke was something worth looking at, I took my time perfecting each small detail. God CARES about every detail, about every brush stroke on the canvas of our lives. He takes His time, seeing all the while that the end result is beautiful.

     When people look at this shelf, they won't be telling the shelf that it did a great job sitting there while I painted it...the shelf didn't do anything, I did all the work.   Any beauty that comes from this journey cannot ever be credited to me or you. When people look at me, they see either a reflection of what God has done or a reflection of where I have tried to take the brush from Him and finish myself. The latter is the uglier side that should be put against the wall because nobody wants to see it. God is the true Artist. HE is the One who deserves all the glory, the One who chose to create something with this wretched soul, the One who looks in a crowd of millions and deeply cares about this one self-absorbed, sinful human.

I am so far away from being worthy to be so deeply loved by God but I am so thankful that He loves me enough to mold me into something more beautiful than what I am now.

"And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6

Perspective

Just look at me... I'm the center of attention here, the focus of the picture, the first thing people see, the way I like it if we are being honest. 

Zoom out a little... You can't even see what face I'm making here. What was the person thinking when they took this?! But at least I'm still in the picture!

Zoom out some more... Can you see me now?

... What about now?

... NOW???

Wait... Am I not the center of the universe??! I ACT LIKE IT! We all do sometimes (right?! I'm not alone in this?!)

The surface area of the Earth is about 509,600,000 square km ( that's about 197,000,000 square miles). I cover less than ONE of those. And that is just the Earth, one planet out of God knows how many, in one galaxy out of God knows how many!

I love how in his book Crazy Love, Francis Chan talks about if life were a movie. If life were a movie, guess what?! WE ARENT THE MAIN CHARACTERS! We aren't even the sidekicks that get their faces on the screen. We are the extras that make it in less than a second of the movie and even then it's only the back of our heads. 

-Harsh truth... Nobody cares about the extras. 

-Beautiful truth... God actually cares about the extras even when nobody else does. 

Francis Chan explains that we are only a few decades away from being forgotten. Nobody will care what car we drove, what job we had, or how many good things we did. 

So instead of living for these people who won't even remember me a couple decades from now, it makes more since to live for God, who not only will remember me forever but CREATED me and in the midst of all these people He intimately loves me and deeply desires a relationship with me. Right?? 

I've learned that I can live for myself all I want, but it's exhausting and unsatisfying. 

And I know it sounds like I've got this concept under control now, I know the problem and the solution so now I'm just gonna fix everything and life will be grand and I can go worry about other things... Um NO!! This is simply a reminder of perspective that I don't see as often as I should, that I wanted to hopefully share with others who may also need a reminder of this perspective. 

I Don't Want the Gold Anymore

Acts 3:6 "But Peter said, 'I have no silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk!'"

I don't know about you, but I always ask God for the gold and silver. If Peter had given this man what he thought he wanted, this man would still be left unsatisfied. 

In the same way, if God just gave us what we ask for, we wouldn't have anything of true importance. Our little human minds do not understand the extent of not only what He WANTS to give us, but also what He is ABLE to give us. 

A Story That Needs to be Heard

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=relmfu&v=PvPOLDmMPyQ&nomobile=1

I ran across this youtube video that someone posted on facebook. It definitely almost had me in tears seeing the outcome of God's Sovereignty. It amazes me that God can orchestrate a completely unique and complex story for each person. He is so powerful!

These are examples of people who got what they wanted. They are, without a doubt, powerful stories. But I started thinking...what about the people who don't have stories like that? What about the ones who DON'T get what they want? What about the people who lost their child to cancer or were never able to have children? We can't only look at the "good" stories, because there is good in every story. 

William Cowper (pronounced Cooper) was a poet born in the 1700s. He gave his life to Christ at the age of 33. He is actually the author of the famous hymn "There is a Fountain Filled With Blood." But here's the thing....he struggled with intense depression throughout his entire life. He was never able to cope with his mother's death at his young age of six years old. He was studying to be a lawyer, but he was so frightened by the final examination that he had a mental breakdown which he was never able to recover from. Cowper unsuccessfully tried to kill himself after a love affair that didn't work out.

My point in telling you this is not to depress you. William Cowper's story needs to be heard. His story does NOT go like this: "I struggled from severe depression but after I began my relationship with God, He healed me of it." He still struggled majorly with depression even after he came to know Christ. He lived with a pastor who helped him along Spiritually and emotionally. Some nights all he could do was sit and look out the window for a couple of hours until it didn't hurt so badly and he could fall back to sleep.

Cowper was not healed of his illness, but he had a new hope. Even in his sadness, he wrote these beautiful words:

     There is a fountain filled with blood
     drawn from Immanuel's veins
     and sinners plunged beneath that flood
     lose all their guilty stains

     The dying thief rejoiced to see
     That fountain in his day;
     And there may I, though vile as he
     wash all my sins away

     Dear dying Lamb, Thy precious blood
     shall never lose its power
     till all the ransomed church of God
     are saved, to sin no more

     For since by faith I saw the stream
     Thy flowing wounds supply
     Redeeming love has been my theme
     and shall be till I die

     When this poor lisping,
     stammering tongue
     lies silent in the grave
      then in a nobler, sweeter song
     I'll sing thy power to save

William Cowper understood the meaning of life more than most people. God allowed the depression in his life for a reason. I don't know why He did and I'm sure Cowper was wondering the same thing. But that's the thing....we don't always know the answer to the popular question "why?" but God does and that should be enough for us. Do we believe God is sovereign? I do. [do some deep thinking...if the problem begins here, so does the solution] If your answer was yes, should we trust God even when we don't know the answers? Yeah I think we should. Do I trust God completely with my life? I wish I could answer that with anything but the truth right now....

God is a big God. He is sovereign. He knows us inside and out. He does what He knows is best for us, knowing we will get mad at Him. That's what I call a good Father and Friend. So if you are mad at life right now, if you hate the world, praise Him anyway. He deserves it, because if we look past all our troubles, we see the bottom line: God loves us. Let me repeat that for you: God loves you. God loves you. God loves you. God loves you. 

"The Best Four Years of Your Life" so I'm told...

Hey college kids!! A lot of you are heading off to college for the first time this week and you are all on my heart. I pray that your college experience is a blessed one filled with life-changing experiences and I pray that at the end of it, you will look back and have no words other than praises for what God did. He will do things in your life you cannot even imagine right now.

I wanted to write this blog entry to encourage y'all, give some advice, and let y'all know I am here for you if you need anything from an experienced college-goer. So here it is...

• I'm sure you've heard some people say that college is "the best four years of your life." Well it is for some people and it isn't for others. You've been preparing for this for 18 years and have a lot of expectations, a lot of worries, and a lot of pre-made plans. Forget all those...forget what other people told you college was like for them (advice is good but do your own thing with it), forget the expectations you have, forget the worries, and prepare to start a new plan. Go in with the mindset that anything can happen. If you don't like your major, change it. If you don't like the new one, change it again. The average college life span is four years, but what's wrong with five or six? Don't stick to the "plan"; take it one step at a time. God will throw you some great surprises, but if you are too focused on "sticking to the plan," it may take longer for you to see what God really has planned for you.

• Keep an open mind at all times. You will learn so much in the next four years....don't miss any of it because you didn't open your mind to new things, new answers, or new ideas.

• You are about to enter the most worldly place you probably have ever been. There will be temptations galore. STAY ROOTED IN YOUR FAITH. I cannot stress this enough. Don't go into this sin-infested place without your belt of truth, shield of faith, sword of the Spirit, etc... (ephesians 6). ["For our struggle is not against flesh and blood,but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." ~vs. 12]. Spend time in the Word, listen to sermons, read commentaries, pray, pray, pray, pour truth into your minds as much as you can because there are so many lies out there. People will lie to you, satan will lie to you, and you will lie to yourself....feed truths into your mind so you will not give in to these lies. 

• Put yourself out there...be bold! Everyone else is feeling just as scared as you are so be the person that steps up and puts you all at ease! Invite new friends to coffee, get to know the people on your hall, and don't let yourself hide in your room too much! (this is mostly for us introversts!!)

• Find good friends right away...once you get into the wrong group, its difficult to get out. Intentionally search for friends who will help you walk down the right path. A good, Christian community is vital. Find a good church if there is one around. Even if you are involved in a campus ministry, churches have so much more to offer...they have people older than you to give you wisdom (i know...right now everyone is older than you, but you won't be the youngest forever!), they have younger people for you to pour into (serving people that are younger than you provides lots of clarity about life sometimes plus they really look up to you), and sometimes it's just nice to have somewhere to escape to when you want to get away from anything campus related. Church gives you people that are in a different stage of life...if you stay on campus all the time, everyone around you is pretty much in the same stage of life. So find all kinds of people you can learn from...this is a beautiful time of growth in your life!

• Cherish every moment and use each minute. Time will FLY like you wouldn't believe! When I think about the fact that I'm already halfway through college (if i finish in four years), I feel like I've wasted so much time. Be constantly on the lookout for ways to learn and grow and serve others.

•  Learn early how to manage your time so you have just the right balance between your classes and your friends.. If you are too focused on getting straight A's, classes tend to suck the life out of you. Yes, please focus on your grades because that is why you are there in the first place, but don't forget to cherish the sweet friendships you make. Accept the fact that you will not make A's in all your classes...you will have some subjects you just don't understand as well as others. Just do your best, work as hard as you can while keeping your sanity, and feel accomplished!

•  I'm gonna tell you something, but don't let it freak you out... you WILL fail at least one test (probably more). When someone told me this, I didn't believe it until it happened...and again... and again. I was too prideful and didn't like asking for help so failing tests became a pattern for me in some classes. ASK FOR HELP! Seek help after you make the first bad grade or even before then when you see that you don't understand the material...don't wait until finals week! Go see each of your professors at least 2 times during the semester. This will show them you want to learn and they will remember that. Some of my professors actually scolded our class for NOT going in to see them. They have office hours for a reason...use them! Also, if professors see you trying, they will be more lenient while grading your papers! This may be different if you have large lecture classes... The biggest class I've ever had was about 60 people.

• Please actually go to class! Now don't get me wrong...I do encourage occasionally skipping class just for the sake of sanity. If you are completely overwhelmed, it's okay to skip a class if there is nothing going on that day (this will refresh you so you can work hard later)....occasionally.

• If you don't own a pair of rainboots, invest in some :)

• Take lots of pictures, make scrapbooks, photo albums, etc. 

• Explore your campus...find the little special spots that noboby knows about!

• Never do homework in your room...people know where to find you and distract you. Also, the bed will stare you down, call your name, and taunt you until you agree to go lay in it...I gave in to it 90% of the time!

• Even if everyone else goes home every weekend, stay on campus. Use the weekend to relax, do fun stuff, de-stress from the week! Plan activities ahead of time so you know at least someone will be there with you and get to know that person better. But do talk with your parents about when you will visit them...they will always be your #1 supporters...don't forget that!

• Lastly and most importantly: You're going to meet a lot of people with different backgrounds and different stories than yours....always remember that God gave you your story for a reason. and the best news is that He isn't done writing. The Maker of the universe is writing your personal story. It's individualized and beautiful because He is the One writing it. Never doubt what He can do. Look for Him all the time; He is everywhere. Watch Him orchestrate the tiniest moments as well as the mile-markers. You are His beloved, His friend, His child. You are His. You will, without a doubt, change in this new season of life, but NEVER forget your identity. 

A Gardening Lesson

I'm trying to grow daisies because I killed my poppies before they were even close to sprouting! Now I am not a gardener at all, so I don't know anything about keeping plants alive except that they need water and sunlight. And I'm realizing that keeping plants alive when they are already grown is not nearly as hard as keeping them alive while growing them from the seed. Just like keeping a fragile baby alive is much more difficult than keeping an adult alive because adults know how to survive, when they need food, etc.

My problem with the poppies was that I just placed the seeds on top of the soil. I didn't know you had to bury them into the soil! (like i said...i'm NOT a gardener). So when the little fragile sprouts started showing, they died under the pressure when I watered them. I expected them to just pop right back up but they never did! I realized this when I was reading the instructions for the daisies...the packet told me to cover the seeds with some soil.

Being the thinker that I am, I immediately related this to our lives. God is the soil. We have to root ourselves deep in Him or we will never be able to survive under the pressures of the world. Placing ourselves (the seed) on top of the soil is like being a one-foot-in-one-foot-out christian (surface level). This is when we think we are strong enough to handle the harshness of the world on our own. But it doesn't take long for our fragile, exposed selves to cave under the pressure.

BUT when we are rooted in Christ, He protects us when we are fragile (He never gives us any temptation we can't handle--1 Corinthians 10:13) and grows us up to have the strength (His strength) to face the harsh pressures of the world.

When Reality Hits

Spiritual warfare is real. I have been learning that a lot recently. I haven't given much thought to it in years because I didn't realize how real it is in my life. Satan's attacks are becoming more evident to me now, but what really scares me is that I haven't been seeing his schemes in flying bombs and explosions; I see them in the things that look "good", in my thoughts, and in the things that make sense.

As I was driving last night and calling him a jerk out loud, I kept thinking, "if he is this sneaky to make his schemes look like 'good' things, how am I going to always know whether it's him or not?" Well this is why we need to spend time with God, getting to know Him more, growing our relationship with Him. The more action we allow God to have in our lives, the more we will be able to identify satan's dirty schemes. God's Word is truth. If we put His Word in our heads, it will be easier to identify satan's lies.

Satan doesn't have the power to control us unless we give him that power. We have victory in the One who has already won the war and He can help us win all the battles along the way. That requires us to be meek...

meekness: "the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness"

If we fight our own battles, we will lose. If we give them to God with meekness, He will show us victory in each situation. The victory may not come at the time of our choice or in the way we would like it to, but it will come and it will be for the best.

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

You

A random childhood memory that I have not thought about in months just popped into my head. When I was in middle school, there was this high school girl that I wanted to be just like. I wanted to walk like her, talk like her, dress like her, I wanted to be her. So I (very creepily!) watched her every move so I could learn what I was supposed to be like.

I thought I had her figured out...she was a tomboy. And she was cool. She was fun to be around and everyone liked her. She wasn't really girly and I liked that. So I slowly stopped wearing jewelry, dressed up as little as possible, and worked on my "cool" mannerisms and faces in private...I had now declared myself a tomboy. Just like my role model. 

And then one day, I sat behind her in church and I saw something that literally crushed me...her nails were painted! Was she hiding a girly side? What about being a tomboy? I was having an identity crisis...who am I if this girl isn't who I thought she was? 

As I repeat this story, I realize how ridiculous I was. But I'm learning a lot from this childhood memory...when I thought about the advice I'd take from this story, I immediately thought "just be you." I wanted to scream at my middle-school self "just be YOU!" 

You is quite a word. You is different for everyone. You's are like snowflakes...no 2 you's are alike. 

This girl has no idea how much I watched her, how desperately I tried to be like her. What if she was doing the same thing to someone else? What if while I was trying to be her, she was trying to be someone else? Now that would cause a lot of identity crisis'! 

My point is that there is no rule book on how to be you. Even though we think society has made an unwritten list of do's and dont's, there are no right and wrong answers. Pave the way; make your own path; just be you and learn to love it! 

Refined Silver

What does worship really mean?

I've grown up looking at worship as being moved by the Spirit to raise your hands while the praise band sings or closing your eyes and having an intimate moment with God. But if that were the only way, then we couldn't worship when we aren't in that wonderful revival mode.

I was reminded recently that we can honor God just as well by what we do when we DON'T want to praise Him. Let's say we're mad at Him...He doesn't want us to fake a good time while the music plays at church or pretend like we never stray from Him. Just like we all get mad at our closest friends at times, we all get mad at God sometimes. But as our close friendships prove, it's how we react that matters...if we react correctly, we come out stronger and closer to Him. He knows very well that we are not perfect children and He doesn't want us to pretend that we are. He doesn't expect us to be on a spiritual high for our entire lives. In fact, He doesn't want us to be. He sends fire to make us stronger. This doesn't mean we should take a break from worshiping God. This is where worship may even be the strongest, depending on how we react.

In her book "As Silver Refined," Kay Arthur describes how silver goes from being impure to pure, dirty to spotless, invaluable to precious. And the process always includes fire...lots and lots of fire.

The refiner sets the silver in his crucible and the crucible in the fire. And there he waits... and waits... and waits... and then the silver starts melting and as it melts, the impurities which are still solid rise to the top. The refiner scrapes off the impurities, leaving the silver to continue melting, the impurities to keep escaping, as he continues to scrape off the ugliness which was once embedded in the silver. He takes the crucible out of the fire for a little while and then puts it back in for the silver to melt yet again. As more and more impurities are taken out of the silver, the refiner's reflection in the silver becomes clearer and clearer.

Kay Arthur says that we are the melting silver. Our Refiner puts us in the fire on purpose and yes, it hurts, but it makes us more beautiful, more reflective of Him, and the best part is...He never leaves our side. He is there protecting us the whole time, making sure the fire doesn't get too hot for us to handle.

Do you want something to look forward to? One day we will be completely refined, beautiful, finished products of silver that reflect God's face more purely than ever. We will be done with the fire. There will be no more impurities in us and no more chances for us to fail. This day is looking more and more beautiful the older I get and the more impurities I discover. But what I keep forgetting is that God sees us as pure now. When He looks at us, He sees perfection, holiness, and righteousness even though He hasn't finished sifting out our impurities.

The Ultimate vs. The Immediate

The cause of 

most of man's 

unhappiness 

is sacrificing 

what he wants most 

for what he wants now 

-Gordon B. Hinckley-

Redeeming Love

Reading the book Redeeming Love [by Francine Rivers] makes my heart ache for that kind of love. so pure. so genuine. so passionate. so undeserving. I can just feel it...the warm embrace of a man who makes me feel safe, who takes me away from all that's bad in this world with just one glance, someone i know loves me with such passion that he forgets to breathe when he looks at me.

Then I realize that I already have that love. And like Sarah/Angel/Amanda, I don't just fall into this coveted love because I am waiting for a catch. I'm still trying to understand it. So I keep my distance. I can't count how many times I've tried to run away from God. For whatever reason...whether i felt too ashamed of my own sin to be with Him or maybe it just hurt too much to let someone get that close within me. Maybe I'm afraid this is too good to be true or maybe I'd just rather be in control of my own life so I can keep from getting hurt.

I always question whether love is genuine. Love has failed me time after time and will continue to fail me as long as my desire is for the world to love me. But then occasionally, I find a love on earth that seems too good to be true. And yet i know it's true because when i look into their eyes i see nothing but love, when i break they cry for me, when i'm too afraid to say that i'm not okay they say it for me. And that's when i know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is a God who loves me.

The key word is love. when i see purely selfless love in the middle of this self-centered world, I know there is a God. When I see love despite all the times I've hurt God, I know He is my hosea, my redeeming Love.

Beautiful Pain

Like he said, this is the story of Jesus' sacrifice which can also be a story of our sacrifice. Jesus is the ultimate example for everything...especially when it comes to sacrificing our lives. I think that sometimes we assume it was easy for Jesus to die because He is God in the flesh. But He was also human.
It was HARD.
Excruciating anticipation.
Unfathomable pain.

Sacrificing hurts. a lot. but Jesus still died willingly. So how are we going to react to that? Because of grace, we have the ability to react with nothing; because of redemption, we realize we owe Him everything.

Our lives should be a picture of the garden:
painful sacrifice
willing sacrifice
loving sacrifice

Sacrifice:
"the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something 
considered as having a higher or more pressing claim." ~Dictionary.com

Passion: rightfully named

I'm having flashbacks to Passion 2012.

45,000 people gathering together in the name of Jesus Christ.
45,000 people worshiping like they've never worshiped before.
45,000 people passionate about the Lord.
45,000 people fallen in LOVE with their Savior.

I remember looking down and seeing people DANCING because the joy inside of them was TOO BIG for them to stand still. I remember leaving worship one night and hearing the city of Atlanta ringing with songs of His praise. It didn't stop when we left the dome! 45,000 people too wrapped up in Christ to stop singing to Him!

As I watch live this year online, my heart is aching that I am not there, but I have an opportunity to just sit back and SEE what God is capable of doing! His power is MOVING 60,000 people!!!

HE CANNOT BE STOPPED!!!! He is too powerful!!

Romans 14:11
"For it is written,
          'As I live, says the Lord, every
                 knee shall bow to Me,
           And every tongue shall give
                 praise to God.'"