tonight, i went to see the movie "Beware of Christians." i would definitely encourage everyone to see it. i sat there convicted of several things while i watched it.
first of all, how amazing is the gospel?! i can't remember who said this, but i remember a while ago someone said that they have to wake up each morning and re-teach the gospel to themselves. it's SO easy to forget or take it for granted. WE WERE DEAD IN OUR SIN. SO JESUS DIED FOR US. why? BECAUSE HE LOVES US THAT MUCH! we should tell ourselves this every morning to start our day off with the right mind set. i know, personally, i get too wrapped up in what i'm going to do that day that i just jump right into it forgetting the purpose God has for that very day. it's not to have fun. not even to have a good day. not to glorify myself. but to glorify God. the only One worthy of any glory.
i love my Christian bubble. a LOT. it's where i'm comfortable so i prefer to stay there. it's where i grow closer to God with others. which is great but God has a purpose for putting unsaved people in my life. i can't hide in my comfort zone. i want to be so heartbroken for the lost that i would do anything God wants me to do...even if it means leaving my comfort zone for a little bit...for Him to use me in their lives.
there is also the very fine line of when NOT to talk about Christ and just SHOW them His love. i don't want to seem too pushy and shove them away, but at the same time, i don't want to take that too far and never witness. i was saved when i was 8 years old so i don't really know what it feels like to be on their side. so i feel kinda lost and confused and i don't know what to do or say, but this is where i just need to trust God and rely on Him.
i have been convicted recently that i need to stop judging people. if someone comes up to me and starts telling me about how they went to a party the other night, they don't want to hear someone preach to them. even with little things, i know that it really bothers me when i tell someone about something i know i did wrong and i already regret it but they still make it obvious through their facial expressions that they don't approve. (but realize there is a difference between that and being a great friend who tells me when i need to change something.) i want to be someone people can talk to about anything, but at the same time i don't want to accidentally encourage any sin.
so basically, i'm struggling with the fine lines. it's way easier to pick sides....either a strong, pushy believer who shoves Jesus down everyone's throat or someone who looks exactly like the world, joining in with them and agreeing with everything. i don't want to look like the world, but i want to be compatible with it if that makes any since. in other words, i don't want to be like them; i just want to be their friend who they know is there for them whenever they need me.
i think the hardest part of being in the world and out of my comfort zone is trying not to let it steal me farther away from my Father. that's why a core group of Christian friends is so important. i can't let the world become my comfort zone. how can i be "IN the world, but not OF it"? it's hard, but who ever said being a Christ-follower would be easy? however, God is right next to us the whole time. He won't ever leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5).
so tonight has brought some new challenges, trials, and unanswered questions, but what's life without them? i know God is using them to grow me and make me more like Him, so it's all good! at the beginning of today, i was planning on spending the night at home, which would have meant leaving right after the movie. i ended up staying on campus tonight and i was able to process some of these thoughts out loud with some people. about that time, my mom sent me a random text saying that she missed me but that she was so thankful i was where God wanted me to be and i was thinking 'you have no idea!'
