so this is a mix between my words and Francis Chan's words...
picture God saying this to you (and insert your name if you would like):
"Even though YOU,____, are guilty, I will send MY OWN SON as a sacrifice so I can have YOU as My BRIDE, as My DAUGHTER, as My LOVER, as My friend. I want you THAT badly!"
if that does not blow your mind, i don't know what does! God wants ME??? God wants me that badly??? i have been putting myself down my whole life, but GOD, the Creator of the universe, the One who wants to be my Lover, the One who gave His Son to be the perfect sacrifice as if He had sinned Himself (that is in a song somewhere), loves ME and wants ME!!! i honestly don't know why and i cannot comprehend why He would love me that much after all I have done to Him and after all the times I have chosen my own sin over Him (watch the Francis Chan video...He shows us that in Scripture), but He does and it makes me madly in love with/ in awe of Him! I wish I could describe the way my heart feels, but only God can make you feel this kind of love for Him.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Friday, March 4, 2011
Life-changing...
So on Tuesday night, a mentor/ role model of mine told me that she was giving up all media for a couple of days, and I thought that was really cool and kinda considered it, but I knew deep down that i probably wouldn't do it. Then I was thinking that it might be cool to give up all media except for music because I love music too much...God knew what I was thinking and less than 5 minutes later, she said that she thought she was going to give up everything except for music but decided not to!!! (and she had a really good reason that hit me but i can't remember what it is right now) Ok, so this is the first "WOW GOD" moment out of too many to count!!! So I get home that night and decide to "think" about it...you know that kind of "think" when you say you are thinking about it, but you know deep down that it's just an excuse not to do it? Well...I felt that tug from God! so i decided to do it. now, this was a huge step for me. i know i am fine without tv and facebook, but no music??? music is pretty much my life...I haven't gone a day without music since i can remember. I did, however, allow it in the car because I felt like it was not fair to make my family make a sacrifice for me. Also, the main reason i needed to give it up was to keep me from getting distracted by it at home rather than doing something more productive. So i decide to go 2 days without media (i confess..i didn't include cell phone in this. being in calculus and having other responsibilities, i feel like that is ok for now).....
Tuesday night, I was happier than i had been in a long time. Giving up music meant more to me than just not listening to music. As a kid, all i wanted to be was a singer. Every extra second i get, i listen to music. I used to listen to it for 10-30 minutes before going to sleep. I hadn't realized how much it had become a huge idol in my life that kept me from God. I always worried about putting music above God and i am afraid that i have probably done that innumerable times. The reason i was so happy was that, to me, giving up music meant complete and total surrender. It meant giving up my favorite hobby ever for my Savior. It is the one thing i wasn't sure i could give up, even for God. That night, I knew that I am truly willing to do anything for God!!! I don't know if all of this sounds kinda minor, but music had become such a huge barrier in my relationship with God that I had been blinded to and it needed to stop. I needed to change.
Wednesday:
So the day starts out normally except that I don't have any music to listen to while i get ready for school. This did give me extra time to start my day off properly -in His Word. Obviously, school wasn't different. But when I got home, i got really stressed (i ALWAYS go to music when i get stressed). I think i remembered something my mentor had told me about going to God's Word rather than anything less satisfying, so I decide to get into His Word a little bit to de-stress myself. Honestly, that was the quickest de-stressing I have ever done and it was 100% satisfying! That night, I had a really great devotion. I made it through one day and was already feeling closer to my Savior!
Thursday:
This has to be one of my favorite days i have ever lived! My day started out like Wednesday did, and i even had time to start my day in His Word again! But when I got home, I felt that tug to start my afternoon by reading God's Word, but only 5 minutes was not enough this time. No, instead, i spent about 30 minutes....most of which i was just praying and worshiping Him. My heart was in full-out worship mode and I just could not stop praying! I sat there speechless with an indescribable awe for the perfection, majesty, and wonder of my Father...amazed that I can even call Him my Father! I experienced the greatest joy i have had in a long, long time! I was amazed when i had that time with God, finished all of my written calculus homework, and had dinner...all before 5:30 (when i had to leave to babysit). I usually cannot finish all of my written calculus homework before I go anywhere and this time I had 30 minutes less than usual!!! This blows my mind! only God can do that!! That night, I spent almost an hour and a half listening to a Jeremy Kingsley podcast-stopping it to take notes or find something in the Bible; doing it to change, not to finish (as Jeremy Kingsley says). So, altogether, whereas i usually find it hard to get 30 minutes of Jesus-time into my schedule, I spent almost 2 hours with Him AND babysat for almost 2.5 hours AND got my homework done AND got to bed at the same time that i usually do!!! all i can say is ONLY GOD!!!
So, today I didn't have to go without media, but i still hardly listened to music. I am afraid of going back to they way i was, so i am trying not to listen to as much music anymore. I spent over an hour alone with God today and i have this renewed love for Him that i can't explain!
So how did this experiment change me?
-1. I definitely learned that satan can (and WILL) use anything he can (even Christian music) to keep me from growing spiritually. Yes, Christian music is great, but not when i put it above God Himself.
-2. If you are truly willing to give your time to God, i believe that He will give you the time. (however, this does not mean that you will not have to give up anything)
I want for y'all more than anything to experience the indescribable joy that i have in my heart right now! please try this for just a couple of days:
-take away everything that is keeping you from spending time with God
-every extra free second you get, spend it with God.
i am not perfect at this...trust me! but i can testify that it WILL change your life!
Tuesday night, I was happier than i had been in a long time. Giving up music meant more to me than just not listening to music. As a kid, all i wanted to be was a singer. Every extra second i get, i listen to music. I used to listen to it for 10-30 minutes before going to sleep. I hadn't realized how much it had become a huge idol in my life that kept me from God. I always worried about putting music above God and i am afraid that i have probably done that innumerable times. The reason i was so happy was that, to me, giving up music meant complete and total surrender. It meant giving up my favorite hobby ever for my Savior. It is the one thing i wasn't sure i could give up, even for God. That night, I knew that I am truly willing to do anything for God!!! I don't know if all of this sounds kinda minor, but music had become such a huge barrier in my relationship with God that I had been blinded to and it needed to stop. I needed to change.
Wednesday:
So the day starts out normally except that I don't have any music to listen to while i get ready for school. This did give me extra time to start my day off properly -in His Word. Obviously, school wasn't different. But when I got home, i got really stressed (i ALWAYS go to music when i get stressed). I think i remembered something my mentor had told me about going to God's Word rather than anything less satisfying, so I decide to get into His Word a little bit to de-stress myself. Honestly, that was the quickest de-stressing I have ever done and it was 100% satisfying! That night, I had a really great devotion. I made it through one day and was already feeling closer to my Savior!
Thursday:
This has to be one of my favorite days i have ever lived! My day started out like Wednesday did, and i even had time to start my day in His Word again! But when I got home, I felt that tug to start my afternoon by reading God's Word, but only 5 minutes was not enough this time. No, instead, i spent about 30 minutes....most of which i was just praying and worshiping Him. My heart was in full-out worship mode and I just could not stop praying! I sat there speechless with an indescribable awe for the perfection, majesty, and wonder of my Father...amazed that I can even call Him my Father! I experienced the greatest joy i have had in a long, long time! I was amazed when i had that time with God, finished all of my written calculus homework, and had dinner...all before 5:30 (when i had to leave to babysit). I usually cannot finish all of my written calculus homework before I go anywhere and this time I had 30 minutes less than usual!!! This blows my mind! only God can do that!! That night, I spent almost an hour and a half listening to a Jeremy Kingsley podcast-stopping it to take notes or find something in the Bible; doing it to change, not to finish (as Jeremy Kingsley says). So, altogether, whereas i usually find it hard to get 30 minutes of Jesus-time into my schedule, I spent almost 2 hours with Him AND babysat for almost 2.5 hours AND got my homework done AND got to bed at the same time that i usually do!!! all i can say is ONLY GOD!!!
So, today I didn't have to go without media, but i still hardly listened to music. I am afraid of going back to they way i was, so i am trying not to listen to as much music anymore. I spent over an hour alone with God today and i have this renewed love for Him that i can't explain!
So how did this experiment change me?
-1. I definitely learned that satan can (and WILL) use anything he can (even Christian music) to keep me from growing spiritually. Yes, Christian music is great, but not when i put it above God Himself.
-2. If you are truly willing to give your time to God, i believe that He will give you the time. (however, this does not mean that you will not have to give up anything)
I want for y'all more than anything to experience the indescribable joy that i have in my heart right now! please try this for just a couple of days:
-take away everything that is keeping you from spending time with God
-every extra free second you get, spend it with God.
i am not perfect at this...trust me! but i can testify that it WILL change your life!
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