i had the most amazing night on Tuesday. God taught me so much and just drew me closer to Him that night. i came home from small group and wrote something like this:
Chasing the Light...what does that really look like in a person's life? To me, it means giving up your whole life to chase after my Savior, the only true Light shining in me. Tonight, i went to probably my favorite small group meeting i've ever had. First of all, God has blessed me beyond words with this group. i realized something tonight that may be life-changing. Recently, i think i've been quiet at small group, but tonight i felt like i was talking a lot and while i was participating in answering most, if not all, questions, it struck me: i know this stuff back and front. If you ask me something that we've learned in church our whole lives, i can most likely answer you on the spot. Maybe i could even show you a Bible verse that relates. But do i really live it out? Does it show in my life? I am a true Christ-follower..., so hopefully the parts i actually life out show. In fact, i have reason to believe they do because of a few instances i've experienced this year at Fort Mill High School. But why are tehre only a few? Why do i act like a selfish brat at home just because i'm tired or had a bad day or am just mad or upset with someone? I really want to change that, but to be honest, i remember an exact moment in church one Sunday morning several years ago that i though almost the exact same thing. That show me even more that i need to step it up. i need people (including my family) to see the evidence of me chasing the Light. if i didn't change a lot several years ago, what makes me think i can actually carry through and change now? i have to admit, i am doubtful because i was planning on doing it with my own strength. i think i still have kinda that mindset, but i know if i do, i will fail miserably.
"I can do everything through him who gives me strength" - Philippians 4:13.
Do you remember when you were a child who was afraid to be in the deep end of the pool unless you were on your daddy's back? I am a weak child who needs her Heavenly Father to carry her through the deep end of the pool. It's harder to carry a child who is kicking an screaming the whole way though. So it all comes down to trust. Trusting doesn't always come easily to me, but it is way harder to try to swim in the deep end by myself and drown. God wants us to trust in Him. My favorite verses right now are Romans 8:37-39: "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." i highly encourage y'all to read that passage starting in verse 28.
